Dear soinso,

How are you doing? I am doing well. How was your holiday? Mine was fine. How is the weather wherever you are? It’s cold here. Brr.

So, I know you are pretty busy, but have you had any time to start working on the thing I asked you about a few months ago? Well, I know you said you were going to start it soon, so I would think there’s a chance you should be done by now, or maybe you got caught up with other things. Please let me know and update me with the timeline.

Thanks,
BoZu

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Dear suchinsuch,

I hope you are doing well. I hope your holiday was good. I hope the weather wherever you are is fine.

Do you remember how I asked you for an update on that thing several weeks ago? Well, I haven’t heard back from you since I asked, and I was wondering if you might please take a moment out of your busy day to just quickly send me an email, just to let me know you are still alive and are aware that I exist.

Kind regards,
BoZu

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Dear dudeman,

Hey.

What is going on with you? I’m missing my deadlines now, because you haven’t kindly been thoughtful enough to drop me a line to let me know you were delayed and that you were going to miss your deadlines and throw everything off for me. Please send me an update in the next twenty-four hours and let me know how you are coming along.

Talk to you later,
BoZu

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Dear muttonhead,

What ever happened to you? You started out promising me that you’d have things under control and that you would keep me updated. I guess you are either embarrassed that you missed the mark so badly that we are now two months behind schedule or that you are ducking me, or that you just stopped caring. Send me an email back or better yet, call me back, immediately, and explain to me why you couldn’t take ten seconds over the past three months to type out four words to let me know you were running behind. Get back to me yesterday or else. Oh, and happy whatever holidays you celebrated recently.

BoZu
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Dear pal,

Sorry about my last email. I am under a lot of stress. I hope you can still take care of that thing that I asked you to do for me. Please kindly take just a few seconds to just quickly just let me know just how briefly you are going to just duly just with however this very important just project is going. Hope everything is going great! I hope that the weather is really is nice for you.

Cheers,
BoZu
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Dear BoZu,

The weather here sucks, my holiday sucked, and my world is crashing in around me.

How dare you demand stuff from me during such a troubled time! How dare you send me five emails in a row without giving me a chance to respond! Get lost, I’m not doing anything for you!

See you in hell,
Chowderhead.
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Dear angrydude, Carbon Copy - Bigbossman

Whatever, dude, all I ever wanted was for you to stay in touch.

Sincerely,

BoZu