Nothing Special

by Bostjan Zupancic

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about

This is my fifth microtonal album. There's some metal in there, but it's maybe more like my first micro album, where I didn't really stick to "metal."

I had hoped to get this out late summer, but really, 2017 kept deciding to teach me the lesson that I really have little control over my own destiny, and, along the way, teach me just how rough life can be, but also teach me along the way just how beautiful life can be.

I guess it's usually when it seems like things just can't get any worse, that things get worse. Then, when you think that it got worse, so now you've learned your lesson, so it has to get better, it gets much worse again...but then, when you're at rock bottom, and you don't even care about how much worse it can or can't get, life flips upside-down again and gives you a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel...but then, when you think things are finally looking up...well, you know. It just goes on like this, until maybe you eventually get your balance again...maybe. I honestly don't know.

So, as a sort of low-grade miracle, here it is before the year's even ended, and now with a couple of tracks that I originally didn't intend on making.

I hope you enjoy it on whatever level you prefer to enjoy things.

credits

released December 1, 2001

license

all rights reserved

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about

Bostjan Zupancic Saint Johnsbury, Vermont

Bostjan Zupancic: MicroMetal is a project started and led by Russ Hayes (a.k.a. Bostjan Zupancic) to blend various metal genres with an alternate tuning known as 19-EDO or 19-TET. There is also some experimentation with other alternate tunings.

Songs have an energetic feel, blending classic heavy metal with progressive, symphonic, death metal and doom metal tones.
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Track Name: Nothing Special
Do you ever feel so confident?
Not like you could take over the world, but, ughn
Like you could make some sort of difference ….
But then it turns out - you’re not as good as you thought
You’re as good as you are, … but there’s always someone much better
Every time I hold my head up -
Every time I try to get ahead
I must be losing my mind
And that’s when I find out
I’m nothing special
Do you ever feel like your life is just so tough?
You go to share your troubles with your friends
Then your friends share their problems with you, too
And then your strife all just seems so petty and unimportant?
As it turns out, you even suck at sucking -
Can’t even win at complaining - HA!
Well, you know, I think we’ve all been there
Every time I hold my head up -
Every time I try to get ahead
I must be losing my mind
And that’s when I find out
I’m nothing special
I used to think -that to win I had to pay my dues
I used to think that I had to pull myself up by my boots
I used to think that hard work prepares you for success
But all you get is more hard work ahead
See- as it turns out, you either have or you have not
There just isn’t any way to correct that… it just is
Every time I hold my head up -
Every time I try to get ahead
I must be losing my mind
And that’s when I find out
I’m nothing special
Well at least from all of this, I got to sing this tune
And at least from this, I can relate to you
At least from this… pff, who cares, anyway?
I guess there’s not really anything left to say anyway
Some things will just never really change
But I just keep hoping and hoping anyway
Every time I hold my head up -
Every time I try to get ahead
I must be losing my mind
Track Name: Interesting Enough
Hey there, uh, I wrote a song on some weird microtonal instruments, would you like to- Well, yeah, would ya, yeah- Well, yeah, they don’t sound like regular instruments, but they don’t really sound all that foreign, either, so I uh- Yeah- M'kay- Yeah, well, would you like to uh- Yeah, um, but I did spend a lot of time trying to come up with some of the hrm- Alright, fine, it’s not like I really wanted you to hear it or anything.
No...it’s not like the last album, this one's totally different- no I can’t really describe it, I call it metal, but- well- well, yeah, I guess you don’t think it’s metal but, wait- wait, if- if you didn’t listen to it how in the hell did you even know- well- hey man, that’s cool, I mean everybody has his own personal taste, you know- no, I- I'm not going to subscribe to your magazine, but I tell you what, if you buy a copy of- well, could you at least check out my- well, it's not like it's putting any obligation on you, anyway...
You know I feel like nothing special
I keep hoping I’ll be interesting enough
Look at me, I’m nothing special
Deep down I know I’m not interesting enough
Hey there, uh you- you know what really irks me? - No, well, I’ll tell you anyway…
I’ve been kind of pulling my heart out and throwing it into your face with these songs, and yeah, well umm, yeah, it's- I was kind of hoping you’d at least tell me what you thought of them ...and, well, I never heard back from you, so I just guess I assumed that you didn’t like them.
But, well, ha ha, I’m kind of a masochist, and perhaps a bit of an ineffective sadist, so, anyway, yeah, I wrote another one for you to listen to, or not listen to, or whatever…
Well, this time I was hoping you could at least tell me how much you hated it, so I can at least get a better understanding of how much time I could waste trying to do something worthwhile like this. Or- Hmm, yeah- Knowing how much of a waste of oxygen I am to the rest of the community really helps inspire me to write more terrible music like this, so your feedback is really greatly appreciated.
Wait, what, you actually might have liked that one song a few years back? That’s swell! I’m excited to hear that because it makes me happy, but, oh, yeah, well, umm, maybe not...
You know I feel like nothing special
I keep hoping I’ll be interesting enough
Look at me, I’m nothing special
Deep down I know I’m not interesting enough
You know I feel like nothing special
I keep hoping I’ll be interesting enough
Look at me, I’m nothing special
Deep down I know I’m not interesting enough
Wow, so you actually made it to the third verse of this song. That's pretty impressive, 'cause - Haha! Who am I kidding, nobody's listening to this... Yeah, so you might have noticed this song is really self deprecating, and it's all supposed to be in good fun, so, you know, if you made it this far, then, I think, you probably enjoyed it a little bit. But uh, yeah, you know, but my CD, and support me. Give me some money- you know, help me buy food for my kids. That'd be really nice of you. Oh, what's that? You don't have any money? Yeah, well I guess that's just the day and age we live in. But, yeah, I mean, anything you can do to promote this, just get people to listen to new music, even if it's not me - even if it's somebody else, or some local bands that are in your area, 'cause you know, it's really a struggle for everybody. And just so you know, the rest of the third verse is all instrumental, so you get to just, kind of, listen to this guitar riff- I- I thought it was pretty cool...
Ah, psych! What kind of depraved individual would I be if I didn't subject you to my voice?
You know I feel like nothing special
I keep hoping I’ll be interesting enough
Look at me, I’m nothing special
Deep down I know I’m not interesting enough
Would you like to see what I do?
Would you like to hear what I say?
Would you like to feel what I grove?
Would you like to see what I do?
Would you like to hear what I say?
Would you like to feel what I grove?
Would you like to see what I do?
Would you like to hear what I say?
Would you like to feel what I grove?
Would you like to see what I do?
Would you like to hear what I say?
Would you like to feel what I grove?
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg!
You know I feel like nothing special
I keep hoping I’ll be interesting enough
Look at me, I’m nothing special
Deep down I know I’m not interesting enough
You know I feel like nothing special
I keep hoping I’ll be interesting enough
Look at me, I’m nothing special
Deep down I know I’m not interesting enough
Would you like to see what I do?
Would you like to hear what I say?
Would you like to feel what I grove?
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
Track Name: Apathy Is Oblivion
Hate. It is not opposing force against love.
Dire is the world where silence is enough.
I don’t know and I don’t care
Those idle hands let them take you away.
Then, the void reigns, chaos wins, nothing gained.
Tear me apart - Break my heart
The only thing I can’t stand is when you say
“Don’t know - don’t care”
Know that your words fuel the fire, burn the chaff
No words at all destroy more than our wrath
Tear me apart - Break my heart
The only thing I can’t stand is when you say
“Don’t know - don’t care”
Apathy is oblivion (the future rots when you don’t care)
Apathy is oblivion (step aside if you don’t dare)
Apathy is oblivion (and no help will help get there)
Apathy is oblivion (and no help will help get there)
Tear me apart - Break my heart
The only thing I can’t stand is when you say
“Don’t know - don’t care”
Apathy is oblivion (and no help will help get there)
Apathy is oblivion!
Track Name: Thin Air
Don’t tell me why - there are no...no words anyway
And don’t tell a lie, ‘cause no one knows that things will be okay
Sometimes, you just have to let things... come out naturally
We all come to terms with all these things, well, eventually.
If you choose - let it out, then we will all just deal with it
Or… you can push all this down for just a little bit

I just wish we had more time to spare.
Why did you vanish into thin air?

I feel like I am pinched in between the future and the past
But I think that I am ready to mature, at last
No, I will not ever feel like I was when I was fine
So, teach me how to move on to a better time

Every moment has just gone too fast
Though my own time is just a flash
I just wish we had more time to spare.
But - Why did you vanish into thin air?
Track Name: Twenty-First Century Blues
Well, I went on Facebook this morning,
and I got a message from a really old friend
Well, I went on Facebook this morning,
and I got a message from a really old friend
Yeah, he used to be with it, but now he’s not right in his head
He's gone crazy!
I sent out an instant message last night,
but it’s just sitting there not being read
I sent out an instant message last night,
but it’s just sitting there not being read
I don’t know if I’m being ignored or if my friends are dead
Aw, don't leave me here all alone!
I got a fancy new bitcoin wallet,
but I forgot the text key to get in
Well, I got a fancy new bitcoin wallet,
but I forgot the text key to get in
Well, what use is $20 if you don’t even have the PIN?
Aw man, it's really long!
You know I packed up all my bags,
I’m about to leave this place at last
You know I packed up all my bags,
I’m about to leave this place at long, long last
But I can’t find the printer to print out my boarding pass
Where is that thing, man, they won't let me on the plane without it!
Track Name: Emailing a Coworker Halfway Across the Globe
Dear soinso,

How are you doing? I am doing well. How was your holiday? Mine was fine. How is the weather wherever you are? It’s cold here. Brr.

So, I know you are pretty busy, but have you had any time to start working on the thing I asked you about a few months ago? Well, I know you said you were going to start it soon, so I would think there’s a chance you should be done by now, or maybe you got caught up with other things. Please let me know and update me with the timeline.

Thanks,
BoZu

-----

Dear suchinsuch,

I hope you are doing well. I hope your holiday was good. I hope the weather wherever you are is fine.

Do you remember how I asked you for an update on that thing several weeks ago? Well, I haven’t heard back from you since I asked, and I was wondering if you might please take a moment out of your busy day to just quickly send me an email, just to let me know you are still alive and are aware that I exist.

Kind regards,
BoZu

----

Dear dudeman,

Hey.

What is going on with you? I’m missing my deadlines now, because you haven’t kindly been thoughtful enough to drop me a line to let me know you were delayed and that you were going to miss your deadlines and throw everything off for me. Please send me an update in the next twenty-four hours and let me know how you are coming along.

Talk to you later,
BoZu

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Dear muttonhead,

What ever happened to you? You started out promising me that you’d have things under control and that you would keep me updated. I guess you are either embarrassed that you missed the mark so badly that we are now two months behind schedule or that you are ducking me, or that you just stopped caring. Send me an email back or better yet, call me back, immediately, and explain to me why you couldn’t take ten seconds over the past three months to type out four words to let me know you were running behind. Get back to me yesterday or else. Oh, and happy whatever holidays you celebrated recently.

BoZu
------
Dear pal,

Sorry about my last email. I am under a lot of stress. I hope you can still take care of that thing that I asked you to do for me. Please kindly take just a few seconds to just quickly just let me know just how briefly you are going to just duly just with however this very important just project is going. Hope everything is going great! I hope that the weather is really is nice for you.

Cheers,
BoZu
----
Dear BoZu,

The weather here sucks, my holiday sucked, and my world is crashing in around me.

How dare you demand stuff from me during such a troubled time! How dare you send me five emails in a row without giving me a chance to respond! Get lost, I’m not doing anything for you!

See you in hell,
Chowderhead.
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Dear angrydude, Carbon Copy - Bigbossman

Whatever, dude, all I ever wanted was for you to stay in touch.

Sincerely,

BoZu

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